I watch as the clouds flow by

I had the strangest dream last night. And I woke up with it still roaming around my head, with bits and pieces jumping out at me and making me shudder. I told this to my mother and she said that I should write it down. I couldn't write it down. parts of it were so bizarre and grotesque that in my dream they just seemed weird, but in reality they would qualify a lack of good standing mental state. I'd be embarrassed to have written it down. Seriously.

I also woke up feeling as if I had been hit by a truck and everybody had forgotten to tell me so. My whole body ached, as if I had been laying in that position the whole night, tensing all my muscles, as if dreading something...which I probably was. I was dreading to go to sleep. I always do.

Sleeping seems like such a waste of time. Especially when I could be doing something else far more worthwhile...like...listening to the effect radio. Which I am doing right now...Leeland's harmonious voice is wafting through my headphones. headphones that I am required to wear, because the rest of my family does not want to listen to my "hard rock" music.

Today I am going to buy some tickets to a concert I really wanted to go to last year, but couldn't because I didn't buy the tickets soon enough and then there wasn't ones for the particular day that I wanted, and then it turned out that I had to go to some parent's friend's party. I wanted to wear all black clothes to their outside soiree, but I thought that it might look bad when people asked me,

"oh, why are you wearing all black, you don't usually wear all black, you're not really the gothic type?"

And I reply,

"I'm wearing black because I'm actually in mourning"

the questioner raises one eyebrow and looks intriqued.

"While you and I are here, at this evening gathering for that certain individual standing over there by the punch, I am mourning the fact that I could be at my very special music concert, listening to my beloved Falling Up live"

Then the questioner will look at me as if I'm slightly crazy and word will get around that I'd rather be at some concert then this party and the hosts will come over and be very annoyed and then promptly kick me out of their evening party. I will sit on the sidewalk in front of their house, waiting for my parents, listening to the music on the other side of the fence behind me, and seeing the glistening party lights swaying in the gentle breeze. I will be left all by myself, with only the lighting bugs for company.